So, last night, I decided to make up my own recipe, rather than following one I'd found on-line, which was risky, as I've never done any variation of the recipe before, but whatever, cause it worked. Sort of. I took a green bell pepper, cored and seeded it, and stuffed it with a mixture of like a 1/2 - 3/4 cup of brown rice, two teaspoons tomato paste, and about a handful each of fresh parmesan and garlic and herb breadcrumbs. Then I drizzled olive oil over it, mixed some tomato paste with beef broth, and poured that at the bottom of the pan. The baking is where I made a little mistake. 350 was too low, 450 was about right, but I took it out too soon, so it was still crunchy. Mama said she thought it should cook more, but I thought it was great cause you could pick it up and bite it.

You should try it.

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...and I actually had every intention of doing it. And then I started alphabetizing the DVDs. I spent all day doing that, and I'm only up to L. Now the house has to be cleaned by tomorrow at 6, and I have to somehow finish the DVDs. Well, I'll handle it.

Also, there's a line from Carrie Underwood's "Undo It" that's getting to me: "I'm starting to see everything you lack." I don't want to put more details just yet, but I will eventually. I have to talk to someone before I go spilling about it.

And my admissions advisor at UoP is a good advisor. He responds to all my e-mails, and fixes things quickly, and is generally awesome.

My friend (and sometimes mentor) Nino told me that she thinks I'm continuously living out a cycle where I play the role of a victim, and subconsciously seek out situations/people that will perpetuate that cycle, and I think she's probably right. I have to stop that.

That is all.

No it's not.

In the past week, I have watched all of the following films/sagas:
Jurassic Park
Die Hard
Mission Impossible
Basic
SWAT

Now it is all.

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My friend Anthony is on the verge of no longer being my friend Anthony. I mean, he'll still be Anthony, but whatever.

The first time he told me he's in love with me, I told him I don't feel that way, but I would be willing to give it one shot if we ever met in person. The next time, I said I still didn't feel that way. Then he started getting really creepy. Saying things that made me feel like he was thinking of locking me in his basement and throwing out the key. So I told him it wasn't going to happen because his temper frightens me. Then he got pissed off (understandably; rejection isn't easy to take) and called me an "emotional hypocrite" (whatever) and went through a whole list of things and got even angrier when it didn't upset me that he was mad at me. I understand that, too, because he feels like I don't care enough to get upset...which is true at this point. Like...you can only bug me so much before I give up and stop reaching for the fly swatter. So, I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm a bitch because I was (I stress this next word) tactfully honest about things. (For instance, I never told him how creepy he is. I tried to be polite about it.) And I...honestly... don't care. I'm over it.

Does that make me a bitch? Maybe. But I feel like I needed to be one in this situation. "No" wasn't clear enough. He needed "Fuck no."

It is literally like this:
"I love you."
"I don't feel that way."
"I love you."
"No."
"I love you."
"No."
"I don't understand why you won't love me."
"Because you creep me out and you have a temper that explodes faster than a stick of dynamite in a bonfire"
"It makes me mad that you feel that way."
"OK. I'm sorry, but I'm being honest."
"I love you."
"No."

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You ever have that situation where you think you're over someone, and then you talk to him/her, and realize that you're DEFINITELY not? Yeah... It's all kinds of complicated.

Also, I cannot find a job. I have applied to at least 30, only got two interviews, and didn't get either of them. One, at least, was nice to me about it. They hired someone else because she had more experience. That makes sense. The other...the guy shut down in the middle of the interview and kept looking for a way to just end it, then told me he'd call me the next day to give me his final answer, and I never heard from him, which is probably just as well. I wouldn't enjoy a job where my employer was an asshole. *shrug*

I'm working on my book, too. I want to get it published.

And switching to University of Phoenix, cause they have an English program and my advisor at Edison won't even return my e-mails or phone calls to tell me whether Edison will be getting one when they expand. Whatever.

Now, to better news:
I have, in the past two days, made two awesome and healthy meals. Yay!
I have health insurance. (But with no job, no money to pay for co-pays or the premium. Ha!)
Also, I feel pretty today. That's always good news.

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So...this random person adds me on facebook, and I assume it's for Farmville or something, so I accept. Then, he starts messaging me, and I figure out pretty quickly it's not for Farmville, and he's just hoping I'm one of *those* girls who has random cybersex with people she doesn't know. So I tell him I'm not, figure he'll give up and stop talking to me, or talk about other things. He asks like three questions and then tries to send me an inappropriate link, which I don't click because I'm not dumb enough to believe it's anything less than it is. I tell him (again) it's not going to happen, figuring three strikes rule. And he keeps trying. So I rip him a new asshole. But my god, he was really stupid. And then he said he didn't think he was being pushy. I was like "Really? Repeatedly bringing up a subject after being shot down several times isn't pushy?" I mean, come on. How stupid can one person be?

On another, less infuriating note, I have a lot of cleaning to do this week because my slightly OCD sister is coming to visit on Friday. Here is my list:

Wednesday:
Laundry
Dining room
Sheets, mine and mama’s
Laundry room
Hang curtains

Thursday:
Lanai
Yard
Bathrooms and bedrooms
Driveway

Friday:
Windows and doors
Dusting
Floors
Bar
Appliances
Febreze

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OK, my job this week was not bad at all...except for today. Almost everyone I called did not answer, and those who did answer yelled at me. Especially if they're with Bank of America. They thought for some reason that I'm with Bank of America, and yelled at me doubly. Does Bank of America suck, or are those people just mean?

Also, I only got paid $7 an hour, even though I'm pretty sure my boss said 8 in the interview.

Worst part?
I can't complain, because I really need the job.

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